I thought today would be a good day to sit quietly and contemplate the term “free spirit.”
I've encountered this term many times in my life, and it has always been directed at me in different contexts, each time carrying its own unique weight and implications. Honestly, these have never been particularly positive, leading me to reflect on the impact and ways in which it has influenced my experiences and perceptions over the years. When I hear the term “free spirit” (and yes, I will be quoting this term throughout this post), My brain creates a series of thoughts and associations and I often drift to words like lazy, flaky, noncommittal, unreasonable, self-indulgent, disrespectful, stubborn, and standoffish, and in some cases I infer a hint of narcissism. So in actuality this phrase evokes a complex mix of characteristics that I almost always perceive as negative. Over my 48 years on this marvellous planet, I have grown to develop a strong aversion to it, which I now realize should be embraced rather than rejected. In reality, this post serves a dual purpose; it is a space for reflection and, more importantly, a tool to convince myself that being a “free spirited” individual is, in fact, a truly positive thing that brings richness to life.
So where do I start on this topic? Well, let’s begin with the word “term.” What exactly is a “term”, anyway? In the case of this post, the definition of term is as follows. - It refers to a word or phrase used specifically to describe a particular thing or to effectively express a concept, especially within the context of a certain kind of language, branch of study, or area of behaviour. - Phew, that lengthy description left me feeling as though I had marbles clattering around in my mouth!
Ok, so now that we have a clearer understanding of what a “term” is in this context, let’s explore the question: why do we actually need them? I suppose we might as well ask why we need anything at all in this intricate web of life... lol. - To answer this question, I would say as follows: (for those of you who may not know, I’m actually a high school drop out, so I am, in a sense, mostly talking out of my ass at the moment. However, if I’m being completely honest, my perspective is genuinely rooted in a place of personal wisdom and instinctual gut feelings. Hahaha! "Free Spirit" 101 right there!) Ok I should get back on track. We need terms to help us better understand. Plain and simple, right? Well…maybe, and maybe not.
We live in a day and age where specific terms can actually be harmful depending on the context in which they are used. To be honest, our language—both body and verbal—has become so inconsistent that we often find ourselves walking away from conversations, and wondering what exactly that person meant by their words. I believe this is largely because we are now functioning as an interconnected international globe, representing the entirety of our diverse world as a whole. And as such it can lead to misunderstandings that linger long after the exchange has ended. All parties of the conversation will ultimately make conclusions based on their own opinions and beliefs about themselves, which are most often shaped and influenced by their upbringing and life experiences. Ah ha! And there you have it, clear as day. Those last seven words which hold significant meaning. “Influenced by their upbringing and life experiences.” So in actual fact, it really has much less to do with the “term” itself and more to do with the individual who chooses to define those terms within themselves. Oh how I could go on and on…lol.
Now this is where it gets a bit sticky. I will add a disclaimer that everything written moving forward is solely the beliefs and opinions of myself and do not reflect the views or sentiments of the whole. If you resonate with my opinion, that is absolutely fantastic and greatly appreciated. If not, that is perfectly fine too, as we all have our own unique ideas and opinions about various things in life. If you find yourself feeling angry by my words and believe they strike a chord within you, I challenge you to take a moment to look deeper. Sometimes the things that trigger anger can be truths that are desperately begging to be brought forth.
So, here we go. I am, without a doubt, an artist. I was born an artist. I am the byproduct of two extremely creative individuals, so my mold is undoubtedly solid! Interestingly, I have only truly embraced some of my authentic self within the last five years. Yep, that’s right. I will be turning 49 in just three months, and only now am I genuinely acknowledging my self-worth. That’s pretty pathetic, isn’t it?
Throughout history the term “free spirit” has been largely associated with creative individuals. My father is a fine artist, a creative spirit who has made a name for himself in certain circles. Some of you may know who he is, while most might not have heard of him at all. I care not to share too many personal details about our relationship, as that feels quite private. However, the only aspect relevant to this post is that he severely missed the mark when it came to fatherhood—of any kind of relationship, really. His absence and lack of engagement throughout the years created a ripple effect of negative experiences that permeated throughout my childhood, impacting relationships and shaping perceptions of my self-worth. Growing up, I had to endure endless, degrading comments about him that were repeated over and over again, echoing in my mind like a relentless drumbeat. Ok, so I get it. Yes, he was indeed a selfish man, who consistently lied and weaselled his way through life with no regard for the feelings of others. He dropped his responsibilities like they were hot coals, showing a complete lack of concern as he moved through life without a care in the world for anyone other than himself. Yes, he is truly the epitome of narcissism, even though I deeply dislike engaging in name-calling. And yes, as I have also heard over and over again throughout my life from various family members and friends, I am indeed a carbon copy of him, sharing not only his physical traits but also many of his mannerisms and eccentricities. Which naturally leads me to wonder, what does that make me? Ohhhhh the many years of my life I have spent running away from the arts! Give me anything, ANYTHING… just don’t give me a paint brush!
Unfortunately, this perpetual avoidance had me ping ponging through life, bouncing from one moment to the next in a seemingly chaotic manner. From the outside looking in, it almost appeared as though I possessed the same uncaring personality as my father. Internally, however, it is a completely different story altogether, filled with complexities and emotions that often went unnoticed by those around me. There would be fleeting moments throughout my life where I would occasionally dabble in what came naturally to me, only to swiftly snuff it out with self-doubt. The overwhelming urge to not become an artist constantly insisted and grew stronger with each and every lapse I experienced, leaving me questioning my choices and the validity of my dreams.
There is no doubt about it; running from what comes naturally has derailed my life in countless ways that I never anticipated. It has sent me down roads I didn’t truly need to follow, paths that have led to confusion and uncertainty. This avoidance has created turmoil and deep grief within my very soul. Like any great creator, the churning of the need to mold, move, and create something beautiful from nothing only grows stronger and stronger and the more I resist the call to embrace it the worse it gets. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t write these words with any sense of regret lingering on my tongue. We cannot control every single aspect of our lives, particularly when we are still children. The important note I’m trying to convey here is that I was running away from certain characteristics that I mistakenly believed to be evil. I constructed a perception based on the opinions of others, along with the negative traits I was aware my father possessed, and I assumed that if I were to fully embrace my true being, I would end up being no better than a flawed human on this planet.
Where does that leave us in relation to a more comprehensive definition of what it truly means to be a “free spirit”? Or perhaps it would be more enlightening for me to start by clarifying what a “free spirit” isn’t. It is, without a doubt, NOT selfish, all-consuming, vindictive, or narcissistic! These negative characteristics are often the unfortunate byproducts of a childhood riddled with trauma, fear, and instability. It is essential to recognize that ANYONE can carry these harmful aspects within themselves. In contrast, “free-spirited” individuals will more often than not generously hand you the shirt off their back without a second thought. They experience emotions on a level that can often feel incomprehensible to others. Their profound connection to the whole enables them to visualize, dream, and sense things on a very deep and meaningful level. They often seem as though they have no structure or predefined limits, but in fact, they only come across that way because, in their mind, there are simply no restrictions or boundaries to confine them. This life is only lived once, and to someone who identifies as “free spirited,” they embrace and experience it to the absolute fullest, pursuing their passions with enthusiasm and without regrets. They challenge themselves with great gusto, and if someone happens to be caught in the crossfire of their adventures, it certainly isn’t done purposefully or with malice. A “free spirit” genuinely doesn’t intend to hurt others; their focus is on celebrating life and exploring the possibilities it offers. A “free spirit” may come across as selfish, but in actuality, they are just highly independent individuals who value their autonomy. They prefer to stand confidently on their own two feet, and most often than not, they do not like to rely on others for their personal journey through life. Sometimes, their deep-seated need to be by themselves is so great that it can appear as though they don’t care for others. However, that is not the case at all, as a “free-spirited” individual cares deeply about those around them. In fact, their intense emotions and strong feelings can sometimes become overwhelmingly profound, leading them to retreat into a state of solitude for reflection and peace. As I take a moment to write this down, it all makes complete sense regarding why most “free spirited” individuals are often inherently creative individuals. Their open-mindedness and willingness to embrace new experiences and ideas allow them to explore different perspectives, which in turn fuels their imagination and artistic expression. In order to successfully create something meaningful from nothing and then represent it to others in a way that allows them to feel and connect with that creation, they must not be restricted or limited by the perceptions and ideals of the larger society or the whole. They’re in actual fact unique individuals who possess the remarkable ability to connect with the intangible realms of inspiration and emotion, transforming these ephemeral ideas into a tangible works of art that resonates deeply with others.
So, in conclusion, this rare breed of individuals should truly be celebrated and applauded for their unique contributions to society. For without such visionary thinkers and creators, the world, in its entirety, would undoubtedly seem drab, monochromatic, and disconcerted. The unconventional, “free-spirited” persons of history, such as DaVinci, Mozart, Abbas Ibn Firnas, Freud, Amelia Earhart, Picasso, Charles Darwin, and Albert Einstein, to name just a few, broke the prevailing rules of their time and changed the trajectory of the world in leaps and bounds. I could go on and on, highlighting countless others who have transformed human thought and expression. Therefore, I feel deeply honoured to find myself among a small pool of unique individuals who strive to make an impact on the world, whether big or small. It is my aspiration to leave a part of myself behind in all the works I produce moving forward, as well as in the lives of the people I have touched during my brief time on this plane of existence .It is truly an immense honour to be “free”, to break the chains of societal norms, to soar high above the limitations imposed by others, and to embrace and celebrate all that life has to offer in its rich, vibrant complexity. If you too have been referred to as a “free spirit,” know that you are among many individuals who are greatly needed in this ever-evolving world. Shine bright and unapologetically! Be the beacon of light that those who find themselves lost in the dark can look to and follow. Chase your dreams relentlessly and always rely on your gut instincts. Break the “norms” that seek to confine you and never allow your passions to be squashed. You, my friend, are a true game changer, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!
